I've always been kind of a perfectionist. Even my mom says that I'm a nightmare to work with. It's just that I want everything to be "just so". I tend to look at everything that I do as a reflection of what and how I feel about myself. Whether it is work, a creative project or even something as simple as dinner - I care (sometimes too much) about how it all works out.
When I was much younger this propensity toward perfectionism only allowed me to see the flaws in something that I had created. In fact, if I drew or painted something I would quickly either have to put it away or give it to someone that expressed interest in it...just to get it out of my sight for a while. Otherwise, I would obsess about the flaws and I would not be able to appreciate any of the beauty in it. Crazy? I know. I'm a work in progress. Hey, at least I see that it's a problem that needs to be addressed - I should at the very least get points just for that, right?
To do something "half ass" is just not in my nature. If you take a good look at the dolls in my collection, you will notice that not a hair is out of place. It's kinda my "thing". I love perfectly coifed dolls that are always picture PERFECT. But, sometimes it can be very frustrating. So, I have to be in "the mood" to work on displaying my dolls...otherwise I just drive myself crazy with the tiny details. Someone once said "the love is in the details"....but they also forgot that so is "the devil".
Yesterday, I blogged about not yet owning the PERFECT Victoire to recreate the Revlon's Fire & Ice Campaign from the 50s. What I should have been focusing on was the fact that I have the luxury to own ANY of these dolls at all! I should have been expressing gratitude like my guru Oprah says I should. So, I quickly caught myself and said a little prayer of gratitude for all the blessings I have in life. It became very obvious to me that I was on the "right path" when just that night the Universe sent me a response loud and clear.
When I came home from work, I had the wonderful little "rush" of having a box at my door. When I opened it up, there she was - a little slice of PERFECT. Champs De Elysee Victoire was waiting for me at my door! I rushed in and quickly ripped open the box. She was beautiful and I felt a surge of endorphins hit that part of my brain where my love of dolls resides. It was just lovely. Everything was rose colored, the air was rich with perfume and the life tasted like Champagne. Everything was right in the my world....if only for a few PERFECT moments.
As I began to remove Vicky from the box and affix her delicious accessories to her ensemble, I began to think again of how "bratty" my previous blog earlier that day had been. I further realized that I would not of even had the chance to enjoy this particular doll, had it not been for the generosity of my friends Michael and David, who allowed me to take over the payment for her when I was not lucky enough to win her in the IT Lottery. That's when I got it. My friends, the ones that I'm looking forward to seeing in a couple of weeks, are what makes life (that can sometimes be disappointing and messy) seem better....and for even a moment even PERFECT.
I look forward to seeing my PERFECT group of friends....like the song in the musical GREASE says,"We go together!" So, I dedicate this blog to my Jenn, Rich, Ken, Michael, Juan, Elise, Sugey, Jonte, Marti, Yvonne, Quinn, Christina, Pat, Marl, Daniel, Luis, Derron, Amelie, Louise, Rob, David, David and David (they know which ones they are). They are what makes my life seem perfect especially for one special weekend out of every year. Can't wait to see you all and I'm grateful for you all in my life!
ps. If I missed any names above in my extended doll family...you know that I love you! And, although I'm trying to not obsess, I'm still dying for a RAVEN Victoire.....sorry..... I'm NOT PERFECT ;-)