A HONEST & LOYAL DOLL FRIEND IS THE REAL HOLY GRAIL!

Korrine Doll originally in Marti's collection. Debumped and re-styled. Introducing - Miss ARI!

My friend Marti is one of those rare people in my life that makes me (literally) laugh out loud. Although, we don't live in the same state (he in NY and I in Florida), I probably keep in touch with him more than some people that I live with in the same city (thank Gawd for Facebook!). 

     

Marti being MARTI...even at work. BTW: Notice over
his shoulder...HE EVEN HAS DOLLS AT WORK! LIVE!

I met Marti a couple of years ago at my second FR Convention in Pittsburgh and outside of the dolls I would say he was the best acquisition made that year…a friend. 

Now I don't want to get all mushy and say that we are BFFs, after all, our common ground is dolls and that is what we normally talk about, but recently, I had a situation in which he proved himself to be not just a friend…but a great friend. 

To not bore you with the details (although they are juicy), I made a mistake. A faux-pas as it were unintentionally. And just when I was about to fly off the handle and rip someone a new asshole (verbally of course), I thought for a second,"Let me get a second opinion on this situation." So, I turned to the right of my screen and saw that Marti's little "green light" on FB IM was on. I let him know the situation and he surprised me with his answer. THE TRUTH. 

I measure friends very carefully. I've had my heart broken by "friends" a lot. And, there are two criteria that I find are really important in good friends - loyalty and honesty. Now, you would think those are a given, but they are commodities. Especially in the GLBT community.

     Marti is one of those friends that has enough love in his heart for his friends to tell them,"Gurl, I think you are wrong…." and friends that will do that are few and far between.

You see in OUR community, the "kids" love FREE Entertainment, so they stir up the pot of whatever drama is brewing in the air and they add their own potent mix of alcohol and venom to it just to see how long it take for a REAL feud to explode.

      Marti told me I was WRONG in my thinking concerning a situation that I had inadvertently gotten myself into…and he taught me a lesson which I accepted with an open heart and mind. I figure if someone has enough feelings for you to let you know when you are acting incorrectly (whether innocently or not) then they really have your best interest at heart.

I took Marti's advice and promptly fell on the sword of my own making. The situation was immediately diffused and I was relieved….because contrary to popular believe…I HATE DRAMA!

Marti aka ARI KIKI on his birthday performing on of his patented
NIPPLE RAPES!

    A couple of weeks ago, Marti and I did a "trade" in our doll collections. He and I have that in common…I much prefer to trade with a friend than to have money exchange hands. I received the dolls last week that were the ones coming from him and I know I can't help but to think of them as my "Marti Dolls"! So, even though I have only restyled one's hair (into a fierce asymmetric bun with a tiny braid…that unfortunately you can't see in the picture above) and have her proudly displayed in one of my cases, I've decided to rename those two ladies (which I never do) after my friend's alter ego - One is named Ari - while the other has been dubbed Kiki. The one above is Ari. Kiki will be forthcoming in a future picture (sorry…I have a life!).

     So this one goes out to my GREAT PERSON -  Marti Balloveras: doll collector, performance artist, nipple rapist but most importantly, HONEST and LOYAL friend that will tell you when you are being an idiot. Trust - in this world that is the TRUE HOLY GRAIL!

     Finally, one last pearl of wisdom from Marti that he told me last week. I have the unfortunate affliction of wanting to be liked by EVERYONE.  I admit it…I wish there was a PLEASING ADDICTION Rehab I could go to because I'd be there like Lindsey Lohan, Zac Efron and Dean McDermott (can you believe that rat bastard cheated on Donna Martin!?!). 

The One and Only - ARI KIKI! NOTE: Those lips are brilliant!

     Well, last week I was lamenting about someone who has decidedly and for no reason just has NEVER been friendly to me….regardless of my endless attempts to be friendly to them. Marti words were prophetic and have held great resonance with me since he said them to me. "Gurl (we start all our sentences with "Gurl") you and I have BIG personalities….and not everyone is going to be able to handle that….so get over it! You are not a candy…so not everyone is gonna like you. A lot of people LOVE you and me….so if a couple ca't take us…it's their loss….that is OK! In the end, there are more that love us that don't so let's concentrate on them and forget the haters" Truer words have never been said. They had a very FREE-ing affect on me and I'm starting not to feel such compelled to please quite as much anymore.

Thanks Marti once again for  your words of WISDOM. I love you….Happy Belated Birthday!

xoxxo,

Frank

Grey Skies ARE Gonna Clear Up....THEY'VE GOT TO!

Rainbow Dash the Pony meets Rainbow Dash The Dynamite Girl!
It's the little things really that make you happy!

Okay, so the last couple of days has really sucked and that's why I haven't blogged. But, I have a bit of perspective and time on my hands right now (I'll get to that) and therefore I thought I would "pump out a quick one" (all puns intended). 

First off, if you read my last blog the small portion at the end was devoted to the puppy we just lost Napoleon. I was amazed at how incentive people can be about the death of a pet. It boggles the mind. Either these individuals are heartless and can't remotely sympathize with the loss of a beloved member of the family (which our pets ARE) or they are just sociopaths in disguise as normal humans. Well, enough about THOSE PEOPLE (and you know who you are) and let's move on to some other crap that has been going down.

For the last two weeks my partner Peter has been complaining of abdominal pain. He is not a complainer…but occasionally a chronic overeater…especially when it comes to his mother's Cuban cooking which he loves so much. So, I thought a couple of over the counter meds and this will be done. No such luck. When he continued to literally belly ache about the pain, I insisted he make a doctor's appointment. He was seen right away and later on that evening our physician let us know that the issue could be a case of Diverticulitis (which I have had friends who have had chronic cases of in the past that have lead to worse things). So needless to say, the worrying started. He was given a round of antibiotics and pain meds and was told that the pain should subside in 2 weeks. It didn't. Peter made a follow up appointment to the Doctor and was sent to a G.I. specialist who concluded yesterday that he had a possible problem with his Gall Bladder. So, right now I write this blog from the waiting room in the Hospital as Peter has a colonoscopy and endoscopy (think three-way…but not the fun kind) and that's why I now have time to write this blog.

To add insult to injury, our dear friend and housemate Quin (who works with us at the www.WhatsHappeningMagazine.com as our Financial Officer) had a major death in her family (an 2 weeks to the date of Napoleon's passing). Quin's mom passed away at 85 (her 86th birthday would have been later on this month on the 31st) quietly in her sleep. I hope that Quin's mom finds peace after the less than peaceful life she unfortunately had while she was on this Earth. She can although be very proud of the incredible women that she raised in her daughters and helped raise with her grandchildren. Sometimes working up to 2 jobs just to make ends meet. Rest in peace Mrs. Porté.

As for me, I went to the dentist last Friday expecting to hear hopeful news about the prognosis of my teeth after my accident a few months ago. Instead, I got hit with the worse case scenario. I'm really scared now, because I really don't like any kind of surgery (not that anyone does) and especially not on my teeth. So, now I need to make some important decisions about how I'm going to handle this dilemma taking place in my mouth (which coincidentally I've always felt has been one of my TOP 5 features).

     The only thing that made me smile this week  I will now share with you. 

I HAVE hope for the future because of MY LITTLE PONY!

     After having a conversation with a 7 year old boy at my Dr.'s office (don't get stoppid…his mom was the receptionist and was right there….I think kid's just like to talk to me because they recognize a kindred spirit that is the Peter Pan that lives inside me…and most gay men for that matter). Well, this very sweet, smart and witty little boy told me about his love for My Little Pony - the new animated series. I thought the show was geared towards little girls and therefore asked him why he like it so much and he said that he liked magic, ponies and the stories. He then went on to tell me that he especially liked Rainbow Dash (she is a Rainbow Maned colored Pegasus (winged pony) who is a bit of "tom-boy". The whole show is about love, friendship and not not only accepting the differences between individuals (in this case ponies) but celebrating them. And, Rainbow Dash, who is obviously the symbol of the GLBT community is the leader of the pack. Upon watching this show a smile came across my face for the hope that the children of that young boys generations will remember the lessons that they've learned by shows like My Little Pony - Friendship Is Magic and will live their lives with the morals they saw on it. By the way, the show has adorable animation and the jokes are clever enough for and adult to enjoy. Am I becoming a BRONY? Possibly…and I'm proud of it. 

     So, after watching that show I decided that I wanted to ad a little Rainbow Dash to my collection of FR dolls. So I simply typed into to ebay "Rayinbow FR" and a set of incredible Rainbow colored tights came up on the screen. These tights, stockings, gloves and other accessories are made by a seller called  "TheDaughterWhoSews" and she does excellent work that is very reasonably priced.

Check her out on Ebay at http://www.ebay.com/usr/the_daughter_who_sews

I bought the tights and they arrived in the mail within a week! That too made me happy so I pulled together the Fashion Royalty equivalent of Rainbow Dash using one of my favorite Dynamite Grils of all time. Enjoy the pics above of Rainbow Dash the Pony and Rainbow Dynamite the doll!

     Now, finally the last thing that gave me a HUGE grin (maybe a naughty one) is the next video that was sent to me by a friend on NYE. I had not gotten around to opening it and when I did, I literally LAUGHED OUT LOUD. Now a WARNING, this is an adult themed video. If you are offended by anything that is pornographic and GAY ….I BEG YOU….DO NOT WATCH THIS VIDEO! Ironically is was made by a straight couple who have a friend that is a doll collector. Obviously, this couple and their friend have a very humorous and OPEN MINDED relationship. 

This seriously HOT GUY made a video for a friend that is hysterically funny but some may find objectionable.
I thought it was brilliant and loved it....THAT WHY I'M SHARING IT ON MY BLOG. If you are going to be
offended or write something nasty after watching it - EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE BEEN WARNED - Pleased don't add
to my already shitty week by speaking up. Just stop following my blog. Because after all, this blog is NOT for
Children. That has never been it's intention....and...AGAIN.....YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!
http://accidentalbear.com/happy-nye-sexy-tattooed-guy-has-butt-sex-with-a-ken-doll-nsfw-video/

      I hope you enjoyed the things that made me smile this week….now let's hope the grey skies clear up and there is something better on the other side of the RAINBOW! PLEASE!!!

xoxoxo,

Frank

Full Circle Moments or BLACK MAGIC POPPY The Remix!

This is my Remixed version of Black Magic Poppy being modeled by
Barefoot in the Park Poppy Parker in her fabulous Mid Century living room. 

Many moons ago I was asked to be a part of a team and work with a toy manufacturer to create a design for a convention. At first,  I was thrilled to be involved. It was like a dream come true. I was finally going to be able to combine my love of designing fashion and my love of dolls - and both those worlds were about to collide. Well, as many of you may know by now when have too many cooks in the kitchen the soup gets spoiled. And even thought, I love working in teams (in fact I've based my whole career around fostering the benefits of teamwork....and the fact that there is no "I" in it) even under the best of circumstances the ugly head of envy can always pop its green little head out. This is a recurring theme that I've had to deal with my entire life. Sometimes I tell people upfront and say "I'm like Madonna or Lady Gaga, you are either going to love me or hate me." LOL It's unfortunate because I, in my heart of hearts am a "people person". I'm really more like Sandra Bulllock more than I am either of the aforementioned POP Divas. I really try hard to make myself likable to people, but I draw the line at selling myself short when it comes to working hard and putting my best effort forward whenever I do something. For some reason, this really pisses some people off. Perhaps they think I'm a glory hound....far from it. I'm always thanking others for any accolades I may get on any work I am a part of. No man is an island and no one can truly create wonderful work with a supportive, cohesive and spectacular team.

These were the original 3 designs that I did for the doll I was working on.
Please don't judge them too harshly as it was 1996 and the quality of  IT & FR
was still in the near future. I highlighted the date so you could see just how long
this doll design has lived in the recesses of my mind. 

    Now back to the doll design project. When I first started it, I went the route that I normally go. Which is sit down and have a "client interview" with the jury of people that had asked me to do the project. I asked them what the theme was, when it was due, how many needed to be produced, what their budget was...blah, blah, blah." All the usual questions. Once I felt they had given me all the tools that I needed to start my work, I began doing my fashion croquis (which are just fashion illustrations). I normally design thinking of a "head to toe" look, what hair color, style, jewelry and other accessories are going to work best with the attire. That way the clients can have a fuller picture of what the final product is going to look like. I don't normally present more than 3 options and I try to make them all very different, while still meeting the general expectation of the individuals I'm working with. Now, truth be told, I always have a favorite among the three. One that I truly feel strongly about and I tend to "sell" that one a bit harder....Ultimately it is up to the clients to choose which one they like the best. Sometimes this works in my favor and my preferred design wins....sometimes I get stuck with my "less than favorite design" but once I am committed to a project, my job is to do the best that I can do....oh....and I'm a bit of a perfectionist (and that comes into play a lot). In the end, this is what happened on this project and I had to keep reminding myself that I had given them a choice of my 3 designs and in the end one was still being produced.
    Like many ill started projects, this one too had an unhappy ending. Although, I met and exceeded all the expectations set by the team for me, I guess I did them too well. Because they were afraid that the crowd would be shower me with accolades because of all the work I had done and in their words it was going to become the "FRANK show". Little did they know that was never my intention and that I would NEVER forget to shine the spotlight on the team. They never gave me the chance to show them that. This is where the "GREEN EYED envy monster" comes in and the whole experience scarred me so. These cretin's (who I had confused and believed were friends) made my life a living hell before the final event came to pass....to the point that I decided not to even attend and stopped collecting fashion dolls of any sort for about 10 years. CUT TO: Then I met my friends David and Ken quite innocently and by accident  at a local comic book show and they told me about the FR Convention which I reticently ended up attending...but now after going for 5 years...I'm sooooooo glad that I did. Making new friends and reconnecting with old ones has been very nice for me over the years....but especially life re-affirming....EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
    Well, at this last FR Convention in L.A., I was able to have a full circle moment. I saw a Poppy Parker doll that was designed by my dear and talented friend David Buttry. Her name was Black Magic but all I could see was a dream come true. I rarely look at dolls as "one whole concept" (even though ironically...that is how I design my OOAKs). I tend to look at every part of the doll as separates: clothes, accessories...etc. I guess it is the designer in me that wants to make things "my own" and I like to do a bit of switcharoo with my dolls. Plus, isn't' that what doll play is all about? Well, for me it is.
I love playing "stylist" and pulling things together that make a doll special and unique to my collection.
    Below is the fashion illustration that I did in 1996 (yes, I am that old) and above is the doll that I put together using the Black Magic fashion and the Barefoot in the Park Poppy to make my final vision come true.
    David, you had no idea that you were doing this when you were designing this doll, but it has helped heal a wound that I've been carrying along for way too many years. So, for that my friend, I thank you and love you!

xoxo,
Frank

P.S. Putting in the mid-century home was a nod to YOUR favorite style of decor.
Muah! F

Vinyl Records, Vinyl Fashion Dolls and The Cha-Cha-Cha!

Yolanda "Tongolele" Montes with her signature raven hair and white love lock standing
along side my Abbe Lane "The Lady In Red" doing a duet accompanied by the
world famous Xavier Cougat Band.

      My parents had a pretty awesome vinyl record collection they had accumulated from the late 50s, 60s and 70s. Back when television consisted of 3 channels (ABC, NBC and CBS….I know kids…NOT KIDDING. Plus, there were NO remote controls. You actually had to get up and turn the knob to one of those 3 channels...Channels 10, 7 or 4 respectively) a lot of our family time in the evening before, during and after dinner consisted to listening to these latin Boleros, Cha-Chas, Salsa, Rumbas and Merengues. 

 

Abbe Lane album accompanied by the famous
Tito Puento was in my parents collection.

    These records had a particular quality to them that DVDs or BluRays today don't have. First, there was that scratchy sound that the needle made when you first put it down on the vinyl in the bland spaces before the music engraving started. It was almost like a two second white noise interlude introduction to the music you were going to look forward to hearing. It gave you time to anticipate the sound that would soon be invading your ears, mind and soul. I remember my parents, as a young couple (mom 23 and father 26) dancing to some of their favorite songs as a dinner of black beans, rice, plantains and picadillo (ground beef sautéed with caribbean spices and a bit of tomato paste) cooked on the stove while I had playtime in the bath. I could see them from the tub while they danced and watched over me from the hallway across the wash room. Life was pretty wonderful then. I was very much loved and I knew it for sure, and all those experiences were accompanied by this ongoing soundtrack of wonderful my cultures music.

Abbe and then husband Xavier Cugat were the inspiration
for Lucy & Ricky Ricardo. The sassy redhead and the
Cuban band leader....ring a bell?

Now, as an artist (and very small child) I think I loved the album covers almost as much as I loved the vinyl records that came inside of them. They were vibrant technicolor pieces of art and photography (or sometimes a combo of both). But, in particular some of my favorite were of those that featured the sexy chanteuses of the time. My parents had a record called "Havana 3am", which growing up in a Cuban household played pretty much on a loop every day and especially on weekends. It featured band leaders like Ttto Puente, Machito (The Cuban Count Basie) and Xavier Cugat (who incidentally was the inspiration behind the Ricky Ricardo character that Desi Arnaz played in "I Love Lucy"). But, even though those men where the ones that produced and arranged the music, it was the "girl singers" that sometimes sang on the songs featured on the cover in elegant and well fitted gowns that caught my imagination. That's the first time I saw Abbe Lane and women like her and just simply fell in love. 

To start, Abbe with fair skin, light eyes and titian red hair looked just like my mother on her record covers. She was curvy and had the voice, that too a child was something between an sexy siren and an angel. Singing songs like "Me Lo Dijo Adela" and "Whatever Lola Wants", I was hooked from the the beginning. To me that was womanhood in its most perfect incarnation. Then there was also Tongolele (Yolanda Montes) who with her shoulder length raven tresses and signature white lovelock creating a curl in the front, was my other absolute favorite. She was known as "La Mujer Pantera" which translates into "The Panther Woman". She was fierce in every sense of the word. She had the kind of hourglass figure that I saw on all the women in my family and could move her backside to a rhythm that could charm any snake (especially those of the "trouser" variety). Although, later on I found out she was known more for her dancing, she was featured on many of these LP vinyls and movies of the time. 

So when I started collecting and designing dolls, I found myself understandingly inspired by those women on the album covers of my childhood. I wanted to recreate miniature replicas of these strapless, skin tight, mermaid style dresses and couldn't help but be drawn to any fabric with a leopard skin print. These ladies were my first muses in the glamourous world of OOAK (one of a kind doll designing) when I was working exclusively on Barbie. 

Since then my tastes have evolved. Although, I wanted to have an homage to these ladies in my collection and recently I was able to obtain two dolls from the Fashion Royalty line that fit the bill perfectly. Last year's IFDC convention doll was a dead ringing in my eyes (after a few revamps) to Tongolele and although everyone saw Rita Hayworth as the inspiration to the "Lady In Red" that wowed everyone at the FR Convention in L.A. last October – I immediately thought of Abbe Lane. So, above you see the restyled and slightly modified versions of those femme fatales now in my ever expanding collection. I placed them (via Photoshop) in front of a Technicolor photo of the Xavier Cugat Band (BTW: Cougat was also Abbe Lane's husband at the beginning of her career) with a big Copacobana neon sign in the background (yes, The Copa, as it was regularly referred to as, really did exist in Cuba's Downtown Havana and was not just an imaginary place where Lola was a showgirl imagined by Barry Mainlow). 

Yolanda Montes "La Tongolele"

The sensational and gorgeous Abbe Lane!

I hope you enjoy these dolls and a walk down my childhood's memory lane. Every time, I walk into my doll room now and see them, I can imagine my youthful parents dancing to that fantastic music and that makes me smile.

Cha-Cha-Cha!

Franciso

NOTE: I wrote this blog 2 days ago before one of our beloved family pets Napoleon passed away. I've not been able to think straight much less get online to post this blog on my site until this morning. The last 2 days have been horrible (and I'm not exaggerating or being dramatic). I have never had to bury one of my pets and as a gay couple without kids of our own…our pets WERE and ARE our babies. I know that sounds stupid to some...but its the truth. I may sound like one of those crazy old spinsters that leave all the money in their inheritance to their pets, but the love that both Peter and I shared for Napoleon was deep and we were lucky to have him for wonderful 11 years (which is way passed the lifespan of a teacup chihuahua). Napoleon only brought joy into our life. He was quite, meek, noble, fun, sweet, adorable, loved to be kissed, snuggled and held on his back like a baby while he looked up at you...but most of all, what I will miss was how he looked up into your eyes with a look of pure love. He passed away like the little prince that he was quietly in his sleep from congestive heart failure. We were able to keep him alive through his prescribed medications for almost 8 months and although it was a bit of a chore....and now I'm so grateful for it. You see, every time he had to take a medicine we wrapped it in a small piece of deli meat which he loved and enticed him to eat his pills. I was mostly in charge of giving him his medication 3 times a day and every time I gave it too him he wagged his tail after I said the words "good boy" to him for taking his medication. My consolation now is that Napoleon knew he was loved by his daddies and that he knew he was "a good boy". 

"Popoleon" (was my nickname for him...
and Peter called Him "Nappy") and daughter
Frida sharing a nap at Christmas time on their
Santa bed. This is the last picture we have of
our little boy. I'm glad we got to have one more
Christmas together before God took him on
3 Kings Day - January 6th, 2014. 

Saying goodbye was heart wrenching and we are still grieving, but we still have our eldest female Kahlua Love Hewitt and Frida Von Tease (Napoleon's daughter) and they have lovingly licked our tears as we said goodbye to our little boy. I'd like to thank God for allowing us to have him in our life for so long and for keeping him for us until we see him again along with all our other loved ones on the other side.

The Future Is So BRIGHT Even the Robot Tranny Prostitutes from Mars Have To Wear Shades

       Well kids a lot has happened since last I wrote. Like life, some bad, some good and some GREAT.

Just had gone platinum and at my average "chubby" weight.
Before Fiasco in Miami

I guess it all started last August when my partner Peter's parents informed us that we would be able to use their Beach House in Key Biscayne during the last week of August. We had just come off of an exciting (but exhausting) Gay Season (that's what I call the slew of Summer Prides, Events and our Annual NUDE Issue Party for Charity) and were ready for some R&R. Coincidentally, during those summer months I decided I wanted to brighten up my appearance by going platinum blond. I naturally have salt and pepper hair and therefore it makes me feel a bit older than I am. Plus, every mistakes me for being older than Peter and even my sister Mercy and that really started to get my goat. It was a very innocent decision on my part, but one that would cause a ripple of events that would take me down a roller coaster ride emotionally and physically.

During our week at the beach house, I was naturally going to drive down and visit my parents. I had not seen them in 3 month and to be quite honest was not being the greatest of sons in that I was not keeping up with them via phone. Sometimes conversations with them can become pedantic and seem like a chore. You see my parents don't DO much. They wake up and go into one of three routines: A) Cleaning Day B) Dr. Visits Day C) Mall Walking Day. Of the 3, choice C is by far the most interesting but all these options tend to end at noon-ish, at which my parents normally go home, have a light lunch and my dad sleeps for 2 to 3 hours while my mom pretends not to be sleeping on the couch as she watches spanish TV. Our conversation is usually limited to those options or how the weather is in either city – which mind you is only 3 hours away. Either way, it is my duty to keep up with my parents and I was not doing an A+ job. So, I decided to take a day out of my vacations and give them 100% of myself with no distractions. I just forgot one detail. I was PLATINUM BLOND.

Ok...post cover up dye job...with my other mama
Michelle Visage....the one that loves me NO MATTER
WHAT I LOOK LIKE!

Now, my parents are very conservative, they are generally accepting of the fact that I'm gay mostly I think because after 20 years they have grown to love my husband (who doesn't?) But, I think that if we separated tomorrow, they would be on the bandwagon to try to either have me join a convent to stay celibate for the rest of my life or marry a very butch woman. Crazy? Yes! But, that's who they are and I love them regardless. 

As I walked in through the door I saw my mother's face go from delight to sheer disgust as she panned up to my hair (oh one detail I left out….it was styled into a Faux Hawk…desperate…I know) But, everyone else around me had loved it for 3 months so I thought so would they. I could not be wronger. My mom went into silent mode. This is never good. It only means that she is planning her verbal attack carefully. Finally, I could not stand the tension anymore (contrary to popular belief, I hate drama) and said in a snotty tone,"If you would like I could leave as to not disgust you any further." Wrong choice of words. World War of Words 3 erupted with my poor father caught in the middle. It was ugly. I hate ugly, so I decided to get in my car and drive back to Key Biscayne and cry my eyes out like I usually do when things like this happen. Instead, I stopped at a Walgreen's bought Miss Clairol's Chocolate Brown and died my hair in the public restroom (dark colors take less time to take). When I got back to my parents home I was now generally my natural color. I was hoping that my mother would realize that it was JUST hair that she was freaking out over and that the color of it meant less to me than she realized. Unfortunately, she never saw me because she retreated to her room and refused to come out. A diva move, I know…but I guess that is where I get it from too.

At the Headdress Ball Mascarade Party.
Half way to my goal.

I decided to go on with my vacation and not worry about it so much. I extended my chocolate brown olive branch and either she was ready to take it or she wasn't. That night we had a dinner party to attend at my in-laws home. It was beautiful and the family was getting along just lovely. They all wondered why I had died my hair back to brown and I just flippantly said,"I got bored of being a blond…I guess they just don't have enough fun for me." Everyone laughed. I died a little inside thinking to myself,"Even my partners parents, the most catholic people on the planet were ok with my platinum locks, but my mom couldn't except them for only a few days." 

We all sat down to an amazing dinner, and then finally when it was time to enjoy desert I felt a searing and then numbing pain in my head. I felt a headache like never before. Carmen, my partners sister (who happens to be in the medical field) said,"Frank, you do  look so good…." and that's all she wrote. I asked to be excused from the table and immediately began to throw up that beautiful dinner while people were still enjoying their flan dessert. How humiliating. But, the pain in my head only got worse. I was having what Dr.'s refer to as a Cluster Migraine Headache that was being brought on by the amount of stress the fight with my mom had caused me subconsciously. I was sure I was having a stroke or something more dramatic. I was taken to the Emergency room (NOTE: If you arrive to the ER in an ambulance you get taken back immediately to the treatment rooms and bypass the lobby. Good to know….trust me.) The Dr.'s there immediately gave me a shot which knocked out cause I'm a light weight when it comes to drugs of any kind (that's why I don't do any) and when I awoke what seemed like 20 minutes later my sister and her boyfriend Julio were there alongside Peter and our roommate Quinn. I was at the hospital for a total of 4 hours while they gave me several tests and concluded that I had just had a Migraine. Now, I used to be one of those asshole bosses that would just say to an employee when the claimed a Migraine,"Take two Tylenol and go back to work." I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. A Migraine is the worse pain I've felt in my 40 something years. 

After getting back home to Sarasota and seeing an array of Dr's, specialists and Nuerologists they all came to one conclusion – "YOU ARE FAT….LOSE WEIGHT". I got the message loud and clear. So, as a family, Peter, Quinn and I decided to change our life by following and exercise regimen and eating better. We cut out all sugar, sweeteners and glutten. Plus, we began to exercise….UGH….again. 

The next couple of paragraphs I'm going to tell in 80s montage style set to a song I can't remember by Survivor or some other hair band…they are all the same. Cue music:

We worked out

We ate better

We hated it at first

Then "poof" we started seeing results

We've all kept each other from giving up

We got rid of old clothing that no longer fit

We bought new clothing (fashion montage sequence) in smaller sizes

We continue to fight, sweat and eat like rabbits

In the end we made it to our goal….to look fabulous and healthy to the Headdress Ball, the social event of the season in Orlando that www.WhatsHappeningMagazine.com is a sponsor of.

It was great, we all three looked like a million bucks!

Next was my annual pilgrimage to pay homage to the dolls I love the most Jason Wu's Integrity Fashion Doll Convention in L.A.! The convention….FABULOUS! My time there: LESS THAN FABULOUS! First night there I had a frightening event happen to me and it altered my ability to enjoy the one event I look forward to every year. But, I'm a true diva as my patron saint Patti LaBelle says and I kept on the best I could to enjoy my time there. 

Next, we come back and I had to take some obligatory time off due to my injury. I dressed dolls and thought a lot about my family. I only spoke to them infrequently at best. A hole was being formed in my heart. No matter how imperfect and very dysfunctional – I missed them. 

I called my mom. We made up in the way we do. We didn't talk about the incident but instead talked about Fashion, Miss Universe and the British Royal Family. It's what we do to let the other know,"I'm over it…let's have a pleasant conversation about things we both love." I accepted her peace offering and she accepted mine. A truce was in motion. 

With the only person that can make me
laugh and have fun even when I want
to strangle her. The Fierce Yara Sofia!

With my soul mate Chi Chi LaRue.
I adore this bitch....and she knows it!

My Favorite of all the Lasky! Heart Of
Gold...Mouth like a Sewer! Adore Her!

Next, Peter and I went on a work-ation alongside 40 of RuPaul's Drag Race girls. I was still not completely healed from my accident. But, I was happy to be leaving the house…which I had not done since the accident. It was extremely fun, stressful and ultimately a great experience for the guests we were hosting. For me and Peter it was like herding cats for 7 days on the high seas. 

Matt Muir Cover Model of the new WHM HiBEARNaion
Issue....for more of Matt check out
www.WhatsHappeningMagazine.com

After coming home from that Gayest Cruise Ever, I returned to my retine of completing the artwork for the January issue of the my magazine WHM. Finished it with only seconds to spare and returned to Miami for a post Christmas/Birthday celebration with my family and close friends. This time I went with closely cropped brown, salt and pepper hair….weeeessh and thinner than I've been in a long time. I've lost 68 pounds and have put on some muscle as well. I look better now than I have in about 5 years (before the Italy "Gelatto and Pasta Tour of 2010). My mom and dad both looked at me with eyes of Pride. I explained to them that I was now off my blood pressure and cholesterol meds. They were thrilled. Also, I indirectly found out that I inspired my sister and nephews to lose weight as well…and they are really on their way….THEY ALL LOOK FANTASTIC! 

Birthday Night With My friends Model, Writer, Artist, Fellow Doll Collector
Daniel Miagani and my best friend since 3rd Grade Maite
Del Cristo! (Chanel Boots in the shot...GORG!)

     So, now I'm home again, and I'm optimistic about he future. So, I dressed up two of my favorite Color Infusion workshop dolls as Space Tranny Hookers from the Future. I love them. One wears gold which represents how precious all our good and bad experiences can be in the end. And (my all time fav) wears sliver, white and a splash of pink. She represents, hope, good faith and a splash of surprise color as a symbol of wonderful things yet to happen. 

I plan to write now everyday again….let's see how long this one lasts…lol.

Happy New Year to all my friends in the Blogmosphere! I wish you only the best in 2014 and beyond!

Frank

With My One & Only beautiful Baby...Peter Aguas!

ps. Best Gifts this year: Jennifer Lopez doll, fabulous Chanel riding boots and a reunion with my best friend since 3rd grade Maite del Cristo. She has no idea how important she has been throughout all my life. She was my protector in school when other kids tried to bully me and my biggest cheerleader when I was down on myself. I'm happy to report that we are back on track after an 8 year hiatus and are vowing to stay in each others life now till the end!